


The Tales We Tell Ourselves

by Northern_Lady



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent - All Media Types, Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Alternate Universe, Friendship, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Romance, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Violence, slightly nicer Eric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-13 10:46:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9120241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Northern_Lady/pseuds/Northern_Lady
Summary: Briar transferred to Dauntless for one reason and one reason only, to die. She was no Dauntless, she wasn't even brave enough to kill herself. She needed someone else to do it for her. Only maybe Dauntless won't give her the help that she wants.





	1. Chapter 1

Two days a Dauntless and Briar wasn’t dead yet. She had been so sure the Dauntless initiation would kill her and her pain would finally end. But it hadn’t killed her. Instead she had lost her first two fights and by some miracle she wasn’t even in the infirmary or ranked lowest. The lowest ranking person had cheated by bringing a knife to the fight. She was ranked one above them. 

Briar stood overlooking the pit wishing that she had the courage to just jump in and end it all. If she’d had that sort of courage she would have never needed to transfer from Amity. She could have just climbed the tallest tree and jumped. Or maybe she could have hung herself in one of the barns. There were countless ways she might have killed herself rather than waiting for one of the Dauntless to do her in. Countless ways. And she was too much a coward to do any of them. 

It was only a matter of time though. Briar was the smallest person in her whole group. At just barely five feet tall she didn’t stand a chance in any of the fights. In the last two fights, some instinct had made her defend herself but she hadn’t really tried to take down her opponent. She had simply endured them. She knew how to take a beating and always had. Her stepfather had seen to that. Eventually one of those larger angrier guys would have to fight her and then she would finally get to leave the world and end her pain. That was all she wanted. Endless sleep. 

“Why are you here Amity?” A voice at Briar’s side startled her out of her morbid thoughts. She looked up to find one of the leaders Eric, standing next to her. 

“Sorry, I didn’t realize how late it was.” Briar realized that most of the other initiates were probably already gone to bed. 

“That’s not what I meant.” Eric said. “Why are you in Dauntless?”

Was he asking for her story about why she joined the faction? Every initiate had one. Briar didn’t. It couldn’t hurt to tell him the truth. Maybe he would even help her. He seemed to like violence well enough. “To die.” She said, “I came here to die.” 

“Then you’re a moron.” He said simply. “If you want to die then just die. All you have to do is jump.” 

“I know. I just can’t do it...but you could push me.” She said. 

“No.” Eric said, as if he simply didn't care enough to help her. 

“Why not?” 

“You’re too pretty to kill.” He said with a grin and then he moved past her and kept walking without another word. 

**************

Five days later Briar still wasn’t dead. She had won one fight against a Candor girl but that was only by chance. The girl already had a concussion before the fight began. She had tripped on her own shoelace and knocked herself out. The other fights she had lost. She was the lowest ranking Dauntless on the board but she was at least still on the board. 

Briar sat on a bench tying her shoes in preparation for that morning's fight. She was to fight Andrew, a very large muscular Erudite transfer. Today might just be the day. Eric sat down on the bench beside her. 

“If you really want to die, he just might be able to kill you.” Eric said. “Just say something rude about his mother.” 

“Thanks.” Briar said, unsure if he was mocking her or helping her. 

“You could beat him though.” Eric said. 

“There’s no way I am beating him and you know it.” Briar stated. 

“Yesterday he had a fight in the dining room. Broke some plates and other crap. I had him run laps all morning as punishment. He’s pretty tired.” 

“Why wait until this morning to do that?” Briar asked him and she hated the way her voice almost sounded whiny. 

“I told you, you’re too pretty to die.” Eric said with a grin and her left her there staring after him in shock. 

******************

After that, Briar started to think that maybe she wanted to live after all. The fact that anyone at all was willing to make a little effort to keep her alive meant something to her. It didn’t fix all her problems or make anything any better really but it did give her a little hope. If Eric was watching her fight, she tried harder. She found herself watching for him throughout the day and she didn’t even know why. 

Then one night her nightmares returned full force and she remembered again how much she wanted to die. She threw the covers back, got dressed, and left her room determined to stop being such a coward and finally make the jump. Briar wasn’t aware of the tears on her face or of anything except for her intention to end all the pain once and for all. She made her way to the pit at a run and ran right off the edge…

Arms caught her in midair and hauled her back, slamming her against the wall of the cave. Briar wasn’t aware of who it was that had stopped her, only of the rage she felt. She had been so close...so close...and now she was still alive. She screamed and started punching him pummeling him. He caught her arms and kept her pinned against the wall of the cave, effectively hugging her. She continued to struggle against him in spite of knowing it was useless. He was larger and stronger than she was and he wasn’t going to budge. 

“Why won’t you just let me die?” She sobbed against his chest. 

“Why do you want to die so badly?” He asked her in return. It was Eric who had caught her. 

“It doesn’t matter...just let me go please.” She pled. 

“No way.” He said. “You’re not going back to your room tonight. You’d probably try to jump again as soon as I was gone. You’re coming with me.” He took her arm and kept her between himself and the wall as they walked back to his apartment. 

“You can go in there.” He pointed towards the bedroom. “I’ll be here.” Eric sat down on the couch. 

Briar only stared at him. “I can’t possibly go to sleep you know?” 

“Not my problem.” he shrugged. 

Briar stared at him a moment longer. “How did you stop me in time?” 

“I was out there drinking. I heard you coming.” 

“And… why… did you stop me?” She asked, still confused. 

“I’ve been watching you. Seems like you’ve started to depend on me, for my advice before a fight, when one of the guys starts to harass you, you look in my direction and hope that I’ll fix it, hell you won’t even eat unless I am in the room… Maybe you haven’t noticed but not a lot of people around here like me. People are either afraid of me or hate me and instead of being either of those, it’s like you want me to protect you. So I figured what the hell? Might as well try it. I can’t let you die because you need me and no one else ever does.” 

She knew he was right. She hadn’t been fully aware of it before of course. No one had ever offered her protection before. It had never even occurred to her that it was possible. In Amity, the solution to violence was more peace serum and she knew from experience that it didn’t always work. Here in Dauntless people were supposed to protect themselves. Some part of her had wanted protection but she had assumed it wasn’t possible until now. Briar burst into tears. And then without thinking, she crossed the room and hugged Eric. He seemed surprised but he pulled her onto his lap and hugged her in return. He held her until she stopped weeping and started to grow sleepy. 

“Maybe you should go to bed now.” Eric suggested. 

“Come with me?” Briar asked him and he did. 

She had every intention of keeping to her own side of the bed and Eric didn’t seem to have any objections to that. The sleepiness she had started to feel while hugging Eric was all but gone. Half an hour passed before she discovered that he wasn’t asleep yet either. 

“You’ll probably be able to sleep if you come closer.” He said. 

He was right. Some of the other girls had called him arrogant and would have said such a comment was both flirty and arrogant. Maybe they were right too. Briar didn’t have it in her to care. She rolled closer to him. As his arms came around her, she finally was able to relax. 

**********************

Eric stayed awake a little while longer watching Briar sleep. She was definitely more relaxed when he was nearby. He’d never had that effect on a girl before. It fascinated him. Plenty of girls could be convinced to sleep with him. But the few that were interested in an actual relationship were only interested in his status as a leader and not in him as a person. Briar needed him to keep her alive. Not because she was a coward but because she needed hope. He had never been hope for anyone before. It was a completely new role for him to play. Somehow he liked it. 

As he watched her sleep, he let his hand rest on some of the scars on her back. The tank tops she wore did nothing to hide her numerous scars. Since the day she had arrived, everyone was wondering how the Amity girl had gotten so many scars. They were obvious signs of abuse. Briar had refused to talk about it and eventually people gave up asking. Something terrible had happened to her and that was why she wanted to die. It was also the reason she could endure such terrible beatings in all her fights. Pain didn’t seem to faze her. She took it as if she thought she deserved it. Her fights were disturbing to watch. Even Four was disturbed by it all. 

*********************

Briar awoke in Eric’s arms and for the first time in years, for the first she could remember, she felt safe and content. She hadn’t even known that this sort of happiness was possible. She didn’t expect it would last of course. Things like this never did. But the fact that this feeling even existed for a moment was stunning. 

“What is it?” Eric asked, having woken up and seen the look on her face. 

“I feel...I feel… happy.” She said, sounding confused. 

Eric grinned. “Of course you do. Usually happens to girls who wake up in my bed.” 

She gave him a look. “It’s not like we…” 

“No, but you wanted to.” Eric said. 

“I actually hadn’t even thought about it.” She said quite honestly. She probably should have realized that he was interested in her but she had been too preoccupied with death for it to occur to her. 

“And now have you thought about it?” Eric leaned close enough to whisper in her ear, his warm breath on her neck. 

Briar felt her skin go warm. He had certainly had an effect on her awfully quickly. Eric caught a glimpse of her flushed face and parted lips and he grinned. Then he tossed back the covers and reached for his shoes. 

“So, if you feel happy does that mean you’ve decided to try and stay alive?’ Eric asked as he tied his shoes. 

“I don’t know. I don’t always want to to die...I mean I have moments when I want to live.” 

He stopped tying and met her eyes. “What happened to you Briar? Are you going to ever tell anyone?” 

“I tried to tell Natalie. I can’t do it without having a meltdown.” Briar said. “No one wants to deal with me panicked and crying, especially not here in Dauntless.” 

“I saw you panicked and crying last night. It wasn’t so terrifying.” Eric shrugged. “Might as well tell me and get it over with.” 

Eric sat on the edge of his bed and listened while Briar told her story. 

********************

Briar’s real father had died when she was six years old. She had just one memory of him. One of the barn cats had scratched her arm and she had run to her father crying. He had bandaged the cut and held her on his lap telling her that no one should be allowed to hurt his little girl, not even old cats. 

Two years later her mother, Brook, married again. Her new stepfather was an Erudite transfer. His Amity wife had died some eight months earlier. Will seemed like he would be an okay stepfather at first. Six weeks went by and everything was fine. Then one afternoon Briar’s Mom was serving hot tea and spilled a little on Will at meal time and the man just flipped out. He overturned the table, threw the plates and cutlery across the room, and he began to beat Brook to a pulp. Briar was stunned. She had never seen such violence in all her life, hadn’t known people were capable of it. Her mother was bleeding and crying and Briar did the only thing she could think of. She picked up a bread knife and stabbed Will with it. The knife barely hurt the man but it succeeded in making the two of them enemies. Will grabbed Briar by the hair and he beat her too. After it was over with, Brook reported the incident and Will was forced to take Peace Serum or be factionless. He took the Serum. They all had the Serum, Briar and her mother too. It did nothing for Will. He came home from the infirmary as angry as he had left. He told Brook and Briar that he was Divergent, the Serum would never work on him and if either of them ever reported him again he would skin them alive. 

The violence continued for years on end. Sometimes a few weeks would pass without an incident but never any longer than that. Will was broken. Briar knew that. There was something wrong with his mind making him quick tempered and demented. It didn’t stop her from hating him or from being continuously afraid. And then when she got a little older he found new ways to abuse her by coming to her bed at night. 

Then a week before the choosing ceremony her mother had come to her and told Briar to choose Abnegation. She begged her daughter to take the best chance she had and leave Amity and leave Will. Briar had argued that soon she would be old enough to marry and could leave him anyway. Brook had told her that it wouldn’t be enough to marry. Will would still want to have access to her, to visit her, and who in Amity was going to stop him? Briar realized her mother was right. She needed to leave but she didn’t want to leave for another faction. She didn’t want to leave her Mother alone with Will either. She simply wanted the one thing she had longed for for years, death. 

***********************

Eric’s features were stoic as he listened to her story but on the inside he was sick. She had cried a little as she told the tale but didn’t entirely meltdown. How could the Amity Faction not know that this was going on in one of their households? Someone had to have seen her scars. And how could anyone beat a woman and child for no reason? Eric wasn’t opposed to violence when it had a purpose. Sometimes pain and fear could be useful. Briar’s stepfather wasn’t violent because it was useful. He was violent because he was a sadistic moron. She hadn’t deserved to be trapped in a life like that. 

“I know you think you aren’t Dauntless.” Eric said after silence had settled in the room. “That you just came here to die, but you are braver than you know.” 

“I don’t see how.” She said, confused. 

“When your stepfather first tried to hurt your mom, your instinctive reaction was to pick up a knife and stop him. If that’s not Dauntless, I don’t know what is.” 

“I couldn’t beat him though.” Briar said, tears in her eyes. “Bravery is useless without strength.” 

“You want strength? You have it, from me. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you again.” Eric told her firmly. 

For a moment Briar only stared at him. “You really mean that?” She breathed, hardly able to believe it. “Why would you do that?” 

“Maybe so I get the chance to wake up next you again.” He said with a grin. 

Briar blushed. “Well, I did sort of like that too.” 

“Sort of? You were clinging to me like you might die if you let go.” He said somewhat jokingly. “You could come back tonight.” 

“Maybe.” She said, unsure if he really meant it or if she would just embarrass herself by coming back to him that night. She slid to the edge of the bed next to him and reached for her own shoes. 

Eric watched her wordlessly as she put her shoes on and tied them. They were the same brown work boots that many of the Amity farmers wore. She wore them with blue jeans and a black tank top, her strawberry blonde hair was pulled into a messy bun. Her fair freckled skin was still marred by bruises from one of her recent fights and there was a bruise around one of her blue eyes as well. Even so, she was unquestionably a beauty. And she was vulnerable. She had one fight left in a few days and if she lost it, she would be factionless. He would just have to see to it that she didn’t lose. 

Briar finished tying her shoes and sat back up straight, meeting Eric’s eyes. He leaned a little closer and kissed her, feeling her catch of breath as his lips touched hers. Then he pulled away from her and got to his feet. 

“Come on. We are missing breakfast.” He said. 

Wide eyed, she got up and followed him out the door. 

************************

Briar didn’t sit with Eric for breakfast that morning. Eric said it was best if it didn’t look like he was showing favoritism among the initiates. They entered the mess hall separately and Briar found Natalie and quickly joined her table. 

“Where were you last night?” Natalie asked as Briar sat down across from her. “I woke up and you were gone.” 

Briar couldn’t tell her she had attempted suicide or that she had been with Eric. Natalie was the closest thing she had to a friend among the Dauntless but the girl was still very much a Candor and telling her would mean risking that the truth of where she had been might be accidentally blurted out to the other initiates. 

“I.. couldn’t sleep.” Briar said. “I went for a walk.” 

“And what else?” Natalie said. She was good at finding the truth. Too good. 

“I don’t really want to talk about it.” Briar said. 

“You never do.” Natalie said, irritated. “You know, I always thought Amity people were so nice and cheerful. I didn’t know they could be such grouches.” 

“Yes well, we all have our strengths.” Briar commented dully. 

Natalie snorted. “Speaking of strengths, you fight Brent tomorrow. Are you gonna let him beat you senseless or actually make an effort this time?” 

“I don’t know.” Briar said thoughtlessly. 

“You don’t know? How can you not know? Do actually want to be Factionless?” Natalie asked, disgusted. 

Briar picked at her food. After everything that had happened since last night, some part of her wasn’t sure she wanted to die. But Brent was brutal. He had won several fights already and was twice her size. She hadn’t been able to beat smaller men. At this point, it made more sense to accept that she was done. “I want to be dead.” She said quietly. 

“You and your death wish… I told you already, you’re one of us now. We aren’t gonna let you die so easily. You know what? I’m just gonna tell him. I’ll tell Brent you want him to kill you. He was Abnegation. He won’t do it.” Natalie said. “He might even let you win if I asked him.” 

Briar’s head shot up. “Don’t do that. You can’t.” 

“I sure as hell can.” Natalie said. “And I will, unless you promise me that you’re gonna try. You’re gonna try as hard as you can to win this one and you’re not gonna just stand there and take it.” 

Briar caught sight of Eric in the corner of the room. For a moment her eyes met his. She looked back to Natalie. “Okay. I promise.” 

****************************


	2. Chapter 2

Briar watched that day’s fighting matches listlessly. She had tried, since the moment she arrived in Dauntless, to not become friends with these people, to not get close to anyone. It was better to not know them if she was only going to die and leave them anyway. And it made it easier to watch the fights if she didn’t have to care about the people in them. As hard as she had tried not to care, she still did care. Natalie was up next. She would be fighting Kendra, a Dauntless born girl who was known for breaking noses. Briar didn’t like to watch Natalie fight. The entire Dauntless process of initiates beating each other up was sickening to her. When it was over, these people were supposed to be friends and share a Faction and a home. How can people care about each other one minute and punch them in the face the next? She wondered what sort of half-wit had decided this was the best way to prove bravery and courage? 

“Shouldn’t you be worried more about your own fight than hers?” Four had come to stand alongside where Briar watched the fight. He had seen the worry on her face as she watched Natalie pull her thick black hair into a ponytail and step into the ring. 

“That’s what Natalie said too.” Briar commented. 

“And you’re so selfless you’re only worried for other people.” He said. 

She shook her head. “It’s just easier not to think about it, about my own fight I mean.” 

“You actually are scared.” Four said with realization. 

“Of course I am.” She said, not taking her eyes of Natalie in the ring. 

“When you get out there, you don’t look scared, you look defiant. It’s as if you are challenging your partner to hurt you worse than whoever gave you all those scars hurt you. Some people are saying that you’re trying to prove that fights can be won by not actually fighting. I don’t think so though. I don’t think you’re playing intimidation games. I think you are punishing yourself.” Four said. 

Briar tore her eyes away from Natalie to answer him. “So what if I am?” 

“Tomorrow you fight Brent. It’s your last chance to actually defend yourself. Whatever this punishment is that you think you deserve, we’re not here to give it to you.” Four said, a little angry. “That’s not what being Dauntless is all about.” 

“I know.” Briar said. He had a good point. “I already promised Natalie that I would try to fight, I mean really try this time.” 

Four nodded. “Good.” And he moved on to speak to someone else.

“What did Four want?” Eric was at her side moments after Four was gone. 

“To convince me to make an actual effort in my fight tomorrow.” She said. 

“He wasted his time. You’re not gonna fight.” Eric said. 

“What?” 

“Later today Brent is gonna find out that Andrew stole some important items from him. Andrew isn’t going to like these accusations. They’ll have a fight and if we’re lucky, Brent will be in the infirmary so the match will be called off.” Eric said. 

Her mouth dropped open. “You set up Andrew?” Of course it would most likely happen exactly the way Eric said it would. Andrew was quick tempered and would be furious about being accused of theft. Brent had lost a fight to him once already so they weren’t exactly evenly matched. 

“Brent ranks high enough already that missing one match isn’t going make him factionless.” Eric said, avoiding her question. 

“You know I could tell Four or Max about this?” She said. 

“You won’t.” Eric said. 

She didn’t. 

*****************************

The fight between Andrew and Brent broke out that evening just as everyone was gathering in the mess hall for dinner. Only a few punches were thrown before Four got to his feet a separated the pair. And that was it. No real injuries, no infirmary. 

“Four wasn’t supposed to be here.” Eric found Briar in the hallway as she headed back to her room after her meal. “He had a meeting with Max. I don’t know why he wasn’t gone.” 

“It’s okay.” She said, moving away from him. “At least you tried.” 

Eric caught her arm. “Don’t jump into the pit tonight.” He said firmly, 

Briar started to tell him that she wouldn’t but she couldn’t find her voice. Her hands were shaking. 

“Promise me, you are going to live through the night!” He demanded of her. 

She swallowed, trying to find her voice. “Okay,” She agreed, though she didn’t know why she bothered. 

Eric let go of his grip on her arm and let her return to her room.

****************************

Briar couldn’t sleep. She never could before a fight. In spite of what people might have been saying about her, she actually was afraid. She didn’t enjoy standing there and letting herself be hit again and again. Of course she would occasionally throw a few punches herself when her leaders screamed at her telling her she had to, but mostly she kept hoping that one of the blows would either kill her, or end her inner pain. Sometimes the physical pain helped the mental pain to lesson. Tonight, she felt more afraid and confused than she had in a long time. She didn’t want to become Factionless tomorrow. That would mean never seeing Eric or Natalie again. 

A few hours passed. If this was going to be her last night in Dauntless, she wasn’t going to spend it alone. She threw back the covers and not even bothering with shoes, she made her way to Eric’s room. She stood outside the door hesitating to knock. He had said she could come back but maybe he was just flirting. Maybe he had another girl in there already. Taking a deep breath, Briar knocked on the door. 

Eric didn’t seem very surprised to see her. He opened the door and let her in without a word. She stood just inside the door as he closed it, unsure what to say herself. 

“You don’t have to say it.” He said. “You’re worried this might be your last night here. It doesn’t have to be. There’s still a chance you could win. There’s still time to figure something out.” 

Briar bit her lip but was unable to hold back the tears. “I can’t win… it’s too late… I just didn’t want to be alone tonight.” 

He nodded. “Come on then.” Eric made space for her in his bed and she climbed in under the covers beside him. 

It was Briar who kissed him first this time and this time neither of them pulled away. 

*****************************

Briar awoke the next morning completely unclothed in Eric’s arms. It was a good feeling. The idea of giving him up after today terrified her more than any beating ever did. And yet she knew that today she would be leaving. She would try to fight Brent. She had promised Natalie she would try and now she had to, but she could never beat him. They might let her stay in the infirmary for a couple of days if she got herself very injured. Or she could hopefully get herself killed. No matter what though, she would never feel this safe again. She would never get to be with this man who had been the first to offer her protection, the first who made her want to live. 

She hadn’t meant to start crying. She had been doing far too much of that lately. She tried to keep quiet. The wetness of her tears on his chest woke Eric anyway. 

“Briar?” He said, his hand on her cheek, concerned. 

She sucked in a breath and fought to keep herself under control. “I can do this.” She threw back the covers and reached for her clothes. She dressed quickly and by the time she was done, Eric was ready too. He waited for her by the door to walk with her to breakfast. He was looking worried the entire time. Briar headed for the door with a look of determination on her face. 

When they reached the mess hall together, Briar went straight for Natalie’s table without even trying to pretend she hadn’t been with Eric. 

“So that’s where you were?” Natalie said wide eyed. “You spent the night with Eric?” 

Briar nodded. 

“And last night too?” 

“Yeah, “ She admitted. 

“Why? I mean, I get that he’s hot, but he’s not very nice.” Natalie said, her nose wrinkled. 

“Well this grouchy Amity happens to like ‘not very nice” She said forcing a small smile. “Besides, he’s nice to me.” 

“I bet he is.” She joked. Then she suddenly grew serious. “I hope he gave you some insider tip on how to win this fight of yours today.” 

Briar swallowed. “I think he would have if he could.” 

“So would I… so would I…” Natalie said worriedly. 

************************

Brent was already waiting in the ring when they arrived after breakfast. He stood there, hands at his sides, looking sad and worried, like he clearly did not want to be there but was resigned to the fact that he had to be. 

Briar sat down on one of the benches and retied her shoes just to stall for time and gather her courage. She knew she had courage somewhere. She had been through so many fights already, and so many beatings, growing up. Yet none of that terrified her quite so much as this one did. Hands shaking, she got to her feet and entered the ring. 

Still looking hesitant, Brent raised his fists. Briar took one glance around the room at all the eyes watching, her gaze falling on Eric, and she burst into tears. Not just a little moisture on her face but sobbing tears that made her collapse to her knees. Brent lowered his fists, unable justify hitting a girl who was curled up crying on the floor. No one laughed at the scene before them. They were all too astonished to laugh. By now they all knew Briar as the Amity girl who knew how to take a beating. Her courage was unnatural to the point of being demented. And here she was curled up on the floor sobbing at the prospect of a fight. 

“I’m not doing this.” Brent said. “I’m not gonna hit her.” 

“You’re gonna have to.” Four said, though there was sadness in his tone. 

“I don’t see why I should hit her.” Brent protested. “She has barely hit anyone in all the fights she’s been in. Maybe it’s someone else’s turn to just stand there and take a beating.” 

“That’s not how it’s supposed to work.” Four said and turned to Briar. “Briar, get up. You promised some people you were going to actually fight this time.” 

Briar felt as if the weight of everything she had ever suffered was holding her there. She wanted to move and she simply couldn’t. 

Eric moved from the place where he’d been watching near the wall and approached Briar. No doubt everyone expected him to berate her and force her to get up and fight. They were on edge waiting for his usual cruelty. Eric knelt down next to her. 

“Briar?” He said and she didn’t respond or seem to even hear him. “Briar!” He said more loudly. She finally looked at him and then she threw her arms around his neck and clung to him. Eric put his arms around her and got to his feet, pulling her to stand up with him. Neither of them let go of each other for half a minute. No one in the room knew what to do. Even Four was at a loss. Eric held onto Briar until her tears ended. Then he stepped back. “You can do this.” He said. 

Briar grabbed hold of his shirt to keep him there. “You promised me… you told me you weren’t ever going to let anyone hurt me again.” She said, a hint of anger in her tone. 

“Brent isn’t going to hurt you.” Eric said, then looked to Brent. “Are you?” 

Brent met Eric’s eyes and nodded his agreement. “Not a bit.” he said. 

Eric took a few steps back and left the ring so the fight could begin.


	3. Chapter 3

“What the hell just happened?” Four turned to Eric as they all stood watching Briar hit Brent again and again. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Eric said with a shrug. 

“You never show favoritism. You never let people back down from a fight like that either.” Four said. “How long have you been sleeping with her?” 

Eric turned to Four and shoved him against the wall. Four could have fought back but he didn’t. He remained still, stoic. “Shut the fuck up Four!” 

“Fine.” Four said, unmoved by Eric’s anger. “At least now I know.” 

Eric took a step back, letting Four go from against the wall. “Really? What is it that you think you know?” 

“That you actually are capable of having feelings.” Four said. 

******************************

It was late in the night and Eric slipped out of bed next to Briar and dressed quietly while she slept. She had won her fight. Brent had let himself be beaten quite badly and seemed quite happy to allow it. Abnegation people were so messed up. Four had been irritated with whole event but had allowed it to continue for some reason. Eric didn’t care why Four hadn’t stopped the fight. It didn’t matter. Briar had only to complete her fear landscape and she would be a member of the Dauntless Faction. 

She had been exhausted after the fight. She was both emotionally and physically drained. Eric had sent her to his room to rest. It was quieter and no one would dare disturb her there either. He came back late that evening and and found her curled up asleep in his bed. She only woke when he went to bed, just long enough to move closer and hug him. Now, a few hours later, he found himself unable to sleep. He sat at the edge of his bed, fully dressed, and unable to stop the anger he felt. It was anger for Will, the Amity man who had caused all this in the first place. That man was still out there, probably still hurting Briar’s mother, and still haunting her dreams. Eric couldn’t accept that. He simply couldn’t. He got to his feet and left the room, headed down the hall to knock on Four’s door. 

“I need your security codes for the fence.” Eric said without preamble. 

“What?” Four asked, his confusion showing due to the late hour. 

“I need your security codes for the fence.” Eric said more slowly as if Four had been too stupid to understand him the first time. 

“I can’t help you. I don’t have the codes for tonight anyway. I’m not on duty.” Four said. 

“And when will you be on duty?” Eric almost snapped. 

“Thursday.” Four said. “What’s this all about?” 

“I’ll be back Thursday.” Eric said. 

“Do whatever you want. I still can’t give you any codes. Rules are rules.” 

“We’ll see about that.” Eric said and instead of going back to his room, he went for a run around the pit. 

*******************************

Briar woke up alone in Eric’s room and felt a moment of panic at not knowing where she was. Then she remembered. Eric’s room. He had been with her not so long ago. Where was he now? She couldn’t believe she had slept all day. Her relief at having passed the physical aspect of initiation had resulted in exhaustion. And it wasn’t all over just yet either. She still had to get through the fear landscape. No longer tired, Briar got out of bed and decided to look for something to eat. 

She found a can of nuts in Eric’s apartment and settled on the couch wrapped in a blanket to eat them. She was still sitting there eating when Eric returned to his room and found her there. 

“You’re awake.” He said. She realized he had probably been out running or working out. He was drenched in sweat. 

“That’s a very astute observation.” She said with a grin. 

“Astute is a pretty big word for a former Amity.” He shot back at her. 

“Are you saying Amity are stupid?” She joked. She knew well enough that Amity didn’t have a reputation for being highly intelligent. 

“Not all of them.” He grinned. “I’m gonna take a shower.” He headed off to the direction of his bathroom, then stopped. “Are you coming or not?” 

The decision was easy. Briar closed up the can of nuts, dropped her blanket to the floor, and followed him to the shower. 

*************************

Briar was nervous but not terrified as she climbed into the chair for her fear landscape. The messy bun in her hair was uncomfortable to lie back on so she leaned forward and took it out, letting her strawberry blond hair fall free down her shoulders. 

“All set?” Four asked, standing over her with a syringe. 

She nodded. 

“This will be a simulation to face your fears. I’ll be monitoring the whole thing from this screen. Most people have ten or fifteen to get through. Just take them one at a time.” Four said. 

“Okay.” Briar nodded a second time as Four pushed the syringe into her neck. 

She awoke on the ledge of a building, high above the street below. She stifled a scream. There was no way up and no way down. She couldn’t move. To her left, far across the face of the building was an open window. The six inch ledge did seem to go all the way over there. She inched a little to the left. A sharp wind blew making her balance unsteady, There was nothing to hang onto to steady herself, only bricks and glass windows. It took a long while, several minutes seeming like an eternity but she made her way to the open window and pulled herself inside. 

Inside the building became an Amity barn. She walked straight into a spider web. After a great deal of screaming and struggling to get multiple spiders off of her body she jumped into a pond to get rid of them. In the water something grabbed her foot and pulled her under. Just when she was sure she would die, Briar removed her shoe and got free of the water. 

Then she was suddenly home. Mom had just baked blueberry muffins. She took one from the counter and took a bite. A noise in the living room caught her attention. 

“You’re home?” Her mother said in the doorway. Brook’s shoulders and arms were bruised and scarred. She had the same strawberry red hair, blue eyes, and freckled skin as her daughter. She took a step forward and hugged her daughter. Briar felt moisture on her mother’s back and stopped to look at her hand. Blood. 

“Mom?” Briar breathed the word. 

“He used a rake this time.” Brook explained. “He’ll be back soon. You need to hide.” 

“No.” Briar shook her head. “Mom you’re already hurt. You hide this time.” 

“Briar, he went with trucks into the city to deliver the harvest. He’ll bring back alcohol somehow like he always does. You NEED to hide.” Brook insisted, pushing her daughter into a closet and shutting the door firmly. 

Briar pushed the door open a crack and watched as Will returned. Her mom stood at the kitchen counter slicing bread. Will stomped into the kitchen and thumped a paper bag down on the table. He hung his coat, then took a chair and began to drink what looked like whiskey. Brook passed the man a bowl of soup and a slice of bread with butter and continued to work on baking something else. Briar watched with trembling hands as the man grew more and more drunk. 

This had gone on for sometime when Will finally got to his feet. “Alright, where is she?” He slurred. 

“Who?” Brook said sweetly feigning ignorance. 

“That daughter of yours!” He slammed his fist on the table. “I want her.” 

Brook straightened her shoulders and turned to her husband. 

“Mom no.” Briar whispered to herself. She knew her mother was about to do something defiant to distract Will and allow her an escape. It wouldn’t be the first time. It was something her Mother did for her as often as she could, just as Briar did for her mother whenever she could. 

“Well you can’t have her.” Brook said, her jaw trembling. 

“How dare you?” Will roared and the violence began. 

Will was a large muscular man about six feet four inches tall. He worked doing heavy farm labor all day and was still young enough that the work didn’t tire him out. Brook was a petite woman only five feet tall and was no match for a man like Will even if she’d had the courage to try. Both women knew by now that they could not win against him and it was better for them not to fight him. On the occasions when they had tried, they’d had broken bones and been forced to lie to their neighbors about how they got them. Will knocked Brook to the floor in one blow. Then he was on top of her while Brook tried to scream. They were too far away from any neighbors for her screams to even be heard. 

Trembling, Briar caught sight of the breadknife on the kitchen counter. This needed to end. It had always needed to end. This was her only chance. She slipped out of the closet behind Will and reached for the knife. The floor creaked. Will turned and saw her reaching for the knife. He grabbed her by the leg and hauled her to the floor. Then he was on top of her, hitting her, tearing off her clothes. He grabbed the knife from the counter himself and held it to her neck. 

“You remember what happens if you fight me or if you report me?” He said. “Remember?” 

Briar nodded, too shaken to speak. 

“Good.” he said. 

Briar turned her head to the side, unable to look at him knowing what he was going to do to her. There on the floor she saw it, a nail. It was a three inch nail just lying there within her reach. She grabbed the nail and plunged it into his neck. Blood spurted all over her. 

Then Briar awoke in the fear landscape chair and found Four looking over her looking concerned. 

“Did I pass?” She asked him. 

“Yeah, you passed.” He said. “You can go.” 

Briar breathed a sigh of relief as she climbed out of the chair and made for the door. 

“Just one question.” Four said as she reached for the doorknob. “That Amity man, is he real?” 

She turned back to answer him. “Yeah, he’s real. He’s my stepfather. Stuff like that happened in our house all the time, only I never tried to kill him except once when I was eight.” 

Four nodded. “I know a little of what it’s like to grow up like that. I’m sorry.” 

“Thanks.” She said, tears in her eyes as she left. 

****************************

Eric woke to a knock on his door at 2AM. Briar slept right through the noise. She had been staying in his room all week, not that he minded. Eric opened his door and found Four standing there. 

“I have the codes.” Four said. 

“And you’re just giving them to me?” Eric asked, not sure why Four would be doing that. “Also, it’s only Tuesday.” 

“I lied. I had the codes all along. And now I know why you want them. You’re planning a visit to Amity.” Four said. 

“So what if I am?” Eric shrugged. 

“I’m coming with you.” Four said.


	4. Chapter 4

For the past four nights, nights spent in Eric’s room. Briar hadn’t had any nightmares. Well, she hadn’t had any vivid nightmares anyway. She still did wake up startled from time to time, always unable to remember what she had dreamed. When she woke this time and found Eric’s side of the bed was empty she felt a stab of disappointment. After only four consecutive nights in his room she had grown accustomed to not waking up alone. She heard voices in the next room. 

“I don’t need a babysitter Four.” Eric was saying. 

“You’re too close this. I just want to make sure it doesn’t end in murder.” Four said. 

“Maybe it should end in murder. That guy doesn’t deserve to live.” Eric argued. 

“I agree, but we can’t just go kill him without proof. We’d just be accused of murder. He needs to be put on trial.” Four said. 

Unsure what they were talking about, Briar got out of bed and went to the bedroom doorway wearing only one of Eric’s black t-shirts that hung to her thighs. Neither of them noticed her standing there. 

“No.” Eric said simply. 

“You prefer murder to justice?” Four asked, disgusted. 

“A trial would mean that Briar would have to undergo truth serum. She was here for weeks before she would tell anyone how she got her scars. Do you think she wants all that stuff that happened displayed on a screen for everyone to see?” Eric said, angry. 

Four’s stance softened just a little. He was about to say something else but he caught sight of Briar standing in the doorway. “Why don’t we ask her?” 

Eric turned, seeing the direction of Four’s gaze. “I assume you heard all that. Do you want this to go to trial?” 

“No. And yes.” She said, torn on what to do. “I only know that I don’t want Will to be able to hurt my Mom anymore. So, whatever it takes…” 

“Okay.” Eric said then turned to Four. “I guess we do it your way.” 

Four nodded his agreement and the two of them headed out the door. 

***********************************

It was still hours before sunrise when Four and Eric boarded the train. Neither of them had much to say at first. 

“What did you see in her fear landscape?” Eric asked after ten minutes of silence. “That’s gotta be why you’re doing this, right?” 

“It is.” Four said without offering further explanation. 

“I don’t get it. You saw her scars. We all did. Why do you suddenly care how she got them?” Eric asked. 

“I always cared. Briar’s stepfather is as malicious and repulsive as my own father. The difference in her upbringing and mine is that her mother stayed and took the brunt of the abuse to try to protect her daughter. I can’t sleep at night knowing he is still out there…” Four said, angry. 

Eric raised an eyebrow. “She’s not gonna adopt you, even if you do rescue her.” 

“Shut up.” Four said, accepting the joke in spite of his irritation. 

They unlocked the fence without any problem and started off down the road towards the farmhouses in the distance. Eric knew which house was Briar’s she had described it to him days ago. All the lights were off and everything was quiet when they reached the front door. 

Eric knocked loudly on the front door. A light switched on and they heard the shuffling of footsteps. Will answered the door. 

“Who are you?” He asked, clearly confused at finding two Dauntless soldiers on his porch. 

“Friends of Briar’s” Eric said, his anger obvious in his tone. 

Will’s eyes widened and he took a step back having clearly understood the implications of the visit. He had been caught. He tried to pretend otherwise. 

“Oh, is Briar alright? Is something wrong?” Will asked. 

“Briar is fine. You, on the other hand, are under arrest.” Eric said. 

Brook appeared in the doorway of the room behind him, her arms crossed across herself protectively. “What’s going on?” She asked worriedly. 

“Briar is fine.” Four spoke up. “We know what you husband has been doing to you and what he did to Briar. We came to end it.” 

By this time, Will had backed up towards the kitchen and was opening a drawer, probably to get a knife. Four pulled a gun on him. Eric strode over and simply punched Will in the face. Will was a strong guy but he wasn’t accustomed to actually having to put up a fight. Eric quickly had him on the floor and was pummeling him endlessly. 

“Eric.” Four said, trying to distract him before he killed Will. “Eric stop!” He took a step forward to pull Eric away and Brook caught his arm. 

“Not yet.” Brook said anxiously. 

Four glanced down at her and saw a recent bruise on her collarbone. She was right. Will deserved this. A trial and an execution wasn’t going to be enough. “Okay.” Four said, and he backed away from Eric. 

When Will slipped into unconsciousness, Eric finally stopped. The older man was bruised and blood was coming from his nose. Eric got to his feet and tried to catch his breath. He looked more emotional than Four had ever seen him. “We need some rope.” Eric said, wiping the blood from his knuckles. 

Once Will was tied up, Eric slung the man over his shoulder and headed out the door back towards the train. 

“We’re taking him back to Dauntless. There will be a trial.” Four explained to Brook as he moved to go. 

Brook nodded, tears in her eyes. “Thank you.” She said as she watched them go. 

************************

Briar went to breakfast in the mess hall that morning. Eric and Four had not returned yet and she had no idea what else to do with herself while she waited for them. Not long after she sat down, Natalie joined her. 

“You’re not sitting with Eric. Did you two have a fight?” Natalie asked. 

“No, he’s just not back yet. He went out last night.” 

“Out?” Natalie asked, suspicious. 

“Remember I said that my scars came from my stepdad? Eric went to find him… Four went too.” Briar explained. She had never told Natalie the details of what her stepfather had done but she had told the girl that he was not a nice man and had been the cause of her scars. 

“Oh. Are they gonna let him live?” Natalie asked seriously. 

“Yeah, that was the plan.” 

“How long have they…?” Natalie started to ask then stopped as both Four and Eric entered the room. 

Eric had blood on his clothes and bruises on his knuckles. Briar had even touched her meal yet and she found she wasn’t hungry anymore anyway. She got up and went to Eric. “Where is he?” She asked him. 

“Locked in one of the testing rooms. He’s still out cold.” Eric told her. 

She reached for his hand and stared at the bruised knuckles. “How much did you hurt him?” 

“Not enough.” Eric said. 

“I want to see him.” Briar said. 

“Are you sure?” Four asked her. 

She nodded. “Yeah. I don’t want to talk to him. I just want to see him. I want to see bleeding and bruised for once.” 

“Okay.” Eric said, leading the way. 

Will was awake when Four and Eric unlocked the door to the testing room. He took one look at Briar with her two companions and started blurting out anything that he thought might help him. “Whatever she told you, it isn’t true.” Will said. “I never hurt her! Not ever!” 

“Oh really? Then how did she get her scars? You gonna tell me she fell out of an apple tree? One of the cows abused her?” Eric asked. 

“Of course not. She already had those scars when I married her mother. Her real father was the one that hurt her.” Will said. 

Briar had never been so furious in all her life as she was at hearing those words. Without taking time to think she walked over to Will and slapped him in the face. “How dare you?” She screamed at him. “My father would have never harmed me!” She took a shaky breath to calm herself. Will didn’t dare to move with Four and Eric still in the doorway. 

“I suppose not.” Will said, his tone mocking. “You Amity are all cowards. Too timid to hurt a fly.” 

“No.” She shook her head, biting back her anger. “We aren’t timid. It takes courage to reject violence especially when human instinct tells us to fight...From what little I remember of my Father, I know he loved the peace and harmony of the Amity faction. I also know that if anyone like you had tried to hurt Mom or I while he still lived, he would have stopped them by whatever means he had to, including violence. You, are the one who is a coward. It doesn’t take courage to abuse someone weaker. You’re disgusting.” 

Briar turned and made her way out of the room. Eric and Four followed her out, locking the door behind her. 

“Are you okay?” Eric asked her as the three of them made their way back to the mess hall. 

“I am.” She said, though her hands were shaking. “You saw my mom, was she okay?” 

“I think she was relieved.” Four said. 

“Yeah, so am … so am I.” 

******************************************

It was early morning. Briar woke up next to Eric and found he was already awake. She moved a little closer to him and allowed him to warm her with his embrace. She wasn’t ready yet to face the day. Sensing her thoughts, Eric spoke up. 

“It will be over soon.” He said. 

“I know, I just don’t want to relive it, not even for the trial.” She said. 

“I could still kill him. I could think of a way to pull it off. Then you wouldn’t have to do this.” 

“Do you like killing people?” She asked him, meeting his eyes. 

“Not really.” He said. “But I would if you needed me to.” 

“Why?” 

“Because it’s what you do when you love someone.” He said. 

Briar allowed herself a small smile at this first declaration of love. “I love you too Eric.”


End file.
